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Jeff Yalden Speaks at 31st Safe Spring Student Leadership Conference

03.14.13

By Chelsea DiSchiano for Saratoga Today>>

Jeff Yalden at Safe Spring
(Photo by Mark Bolles/Saratoga Today)

The Palamountain Hall at the Skidmore campus was filled with over 200 high school students from all around Saratoga County on March 12 as they excitedly anticipated a lecture by life coach Jeff Yalden, famous for his appearances as a life coach on MTV’s popular reality program, “MADE.”

Yalden made the appearance for the 31st Annual Safe Spring Student Leadership Conference put on by The Prevention Council of Saratoga County in its effort to encourage students to be sober while celebrating upcoming spring activities, such as the prom and graduation.

Students from 12 school districts in Saratoga County brought in their own “Pride Boards”—decorative poster boards with ideas on how to promote positive prevention methods in their schools—which were then displayed throughout Palamountain Hall for all to see and discuss. The conference started off with a screening of anti-bullying videos created by WSWHE-BOCES students for their “Be an Ally” campaign before the lecture by Jeff Yalden began.

A variety of topics were covered during his almost two-hour long lecture, making the students cheer and clap with loud laughter at certain parts, but wiping away tears at others as he spoke of some of his more morose life experiences and lessons learned.

Yalden gave several personal anecdotes to reveal many of the life lessons he has learned, from growing up in an abusive household and dealing with his grandfather’s death, to his current issues with anxiety and depression.

The lecture had various themes and advice throughout, such as to seek approval only from yourself instead of from others; never change your character for other people and remain true to yourself; making sure to have a positive attitude no matter what and to live life like no one else is watching.

He also spoke frequently about his dog Chase, who passed away two years ago. Many students in the crowd were spotted wiping tears from their eyes as Yalden described his little best friend and how Yalden had taken him for granted his whole life.

“If I stuck one of my daughters and my dog in the trunk of my car for 30 days and then came back to let them out, my dog would be the only one happy to see me,” Yalden said to laughing teenagers. “I took him for granted all 12 years of his life.”

He used his experiences with Chase to compare the way his dog lived to the way humans should live—by accepting others for who they are and never judging anyone.

The final message Yalden emphasized to students was to avoid disappointment by lowering any unrealistic expectations they might have.

“Don’t focus on your expectations,” Yalden said. “Focus on the objective—the present moment—which gives you control. If you do that, you won’t face disappointment.”

“You need to ask yourself three things every day,” Yalden said. “Is my life meaningful? Is it fulfilling? Is it rewarding? If the answer to any of those questions is no, then your purpose isn’t great enough.”

The Wilton Barnes & Noble location will host a bookfair from Saturday, March 16 to Thursday, March 21 to benefit The Prevention Council. The Prevention Council will be in attendance for arts and crafts, face-painting and story time. A percentage of any books purchased at the book fair with a voucher will be donated to the Council.

To learn more about The Prevention Council or for more details on the Bookfair, visit www.preventioncouncil.org.

Seminar for Students, Parents Seeks Solution to Dangers of Bullying

10.18.10

October 18, 2010
By Patrick H. Donges
The Saratogian

SARATOGA SPRINGS — A girl walks into a classroom without her shoes after another student demands she either give them up or face the ridicule of her peers.

How should parents address this incident with their children if they are involved? How can parents and students address bullying with school officials? How can parents and students effectively help those who are the target of bullying?

In the wake of several tragic incidents involving schoolyard and cyber bullies who tormented their victims to the point of suicide, local officials, parents and students are asking themselves how they can help prevent bullying and address it when it occurs.

“What can we do to help people prepare?” asked Mike Piccirillo, Saratoga Springs City School District’s assistant superintendent for secondary education, at the third and latest installment of the Parent University series on bullying, held Sunday afternoon at the Saratoga Springs Presbyterian-New England Congregational Church.

Launched last year through collaboration between the school district and the Saratoga Partnership for Prevention, Parent University offers free programming for parents dealing with a range of issues, from bullying to technology, child development and physical and emotional wellness.

Maureen Cary, coordinator for Saratoga Partnership for Prevention, explained to attendees that while bullying is not an area specifically addressed by drug and alcohol prevention organizations, students who are victims of bullying will often turn to substances as a coping mechanism.

“They’re looking for ways to relieve the stress and anxiety,” she said, addressing about 40 students and their parents.

Representatives from other organizations, including the Franklin Community Center, Four Winds Saratoga and Mediation Matters, were also on hand to help facilitate Sunday’s conversation.

Students were divided into three groups according to grade — kindergarteners through fifth-graders, sixth- through eighth-graders and high school students — while their parents also formed groups to discuss solutions to bullying scenarios.

“If I’m nobody, and nobody’s perfect, then I must be perfect,” said sixth-grader Lia Chabot, giving an example of a comeback that could be used to keep a bully at bay.

“I wouldn’t just want to talk to the principals,” said sixth-grader Hannah Lefevre, when asked who students should talk to at school if they see or experience bullying.

When parents were asked if they had been bullied, the majority of those who answered “yes” had been victims in the sixth grade.

“Middle school is the worst,” Saratoga Springs High School junior Renee Martin said after facilitating the conversation among sixth- through eighth-graders.

As a student liaison for Parent University, a participant in both the National Coalition Building Institute and Student Court at Saratoga Springs High School and a victim of past bullying, Martin said officials should examine opportunities for younger students to mediate and confront incidents of bullying among themselves.

“We’re always reviewing our policies,” Piccirillo said, noting events like Parent University programs were a chance to educate as well as receive important feedback from parents and students.

Along with traditional physical or emotional bullying, cyber bullying was also discussed as a growing problem, with almost all of the students from kindergarten to fifth grade saying they had witnessed or been a victim of a cyber bully.

“It’s very difficult to monitor,” Piccirillo said of taunts sent by cell phones or other devices.

One group of parents cited the importance for students to have someone, be it a teacher or administrator, to advocate for them at school.

“The one week when I wasn’t there he wanted to quit baseball,” said Samantha Giknis of her 9-year-old son Phillip’s experience with bullying on his Little League team.

Giknis suggested that parents of bullied children get to know the parents of those doing the bullying as a first step toward addressing their behavior.

“Stand up for yourself,” said Isabella Mastrion, a fifth-grade student, when asked what students should do if they are a victim of bullying. Isabella and her sister both take Tae Kwon Do, training which their father, Guy Mastrion, said not only makes them safer, but also helps them build the confidence to confront and prevent bullying.

“These experiences are things that are passing through their lives,” he said, noting that incidents of bullying or unfair treatment usually do not end after high school.

The next program in this series on bullying will be held from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Nov. 4 at the Saratoga Springs Public Library.

Organizations with venues that would like to host a Parent University program can call 583-4714 or e-mail m_piccirillo@saratogaschools.org for more information.

Middle Schoolers Learn How to Prevent Bullying in School

08.12.10

August 12, 2010
By Melissa Downer
Saratoga Today

While bullying in and outside of school has always been a problem, Saratoga Springs Middle School has become proactive on the topic and has started a student-run club called “Get Up Stand Up.”

As the eighth-graders head off to high school in the next school year, founding members Bobby Griffin, 14 and Kenny DeLoria, 15, are relying on the incoming sixth graders to join the club and make Saratoga Springs Middle School a positive place to be for all students. To help motivate the new middle-schoolers to join the club, Griffin and DeLoria participated in this years D.A.R.E. All-Stars camp that acclimates and prepares fifth-graders with their transition to Middle School. About one-third of the fifth grade class participated this year.

“When the new sixth-graders enter middle school, they will only recognize maybe 10 other students from their elementary school. This gives them a good chance to meet students from other elementary schools and make them feel more comfortable,” said Camp Director Erin Llyod.

Each day of the camp touches on a different topic such as life skills (including fire prevention, nutrition and the anti-bullying seminar), sports, arts and substance abuse awareness and prevention. The camp is organized around a substance abuse prevention curriculum and is designed to reinforce shared group norms against substance use, promote the development of goals and a positive vision for the future and to support children in making and publicly declaring commitments that will help them to achieve those goals.

“If we ask the children individually what they think about people who do drugs or drink and drive, they will most likely say they are stupid. We have games and surveys that show them that they all agree and share the same opinions,” Lloyd said.

The “Get Up Stand Up” program is new this year, and teaches children techniques in dealing with bullies and getting help from teachers on how to prevent bullying. In school, the club meets on Thursdays after school and addresses bullying in school and how to prevent it. Some of the techniques include making a scene when a bully is harassing a student to grab the attention of a teacher, walk away or stay with friends when a child is expecting to run into the bully because, according to DeLoria, “a bully’s biggest fear is getting caught.”

As a way to report bullying confidentially, the club made it possible to report bullying through EdLine, an online system that the school and students use to check grades or homework assignment. An act of bullying can be reported on this website and will only be read by the principal, assistant principals or guidance counselors.

According to eighth-grade social studies teacher Evan Williamson, the club came to fruition through an idea by a teacher, but it really grew as the students became involved.
“Only they can really prevent bullying. This is a club made up of students helping students,” he said.

Though the All Stars Camp is affiliated with D.A.R.E., which is no longer available through city budget issues, All Stars Camp will continue to run each year to help the large transition between elementary school and middle school.

For more information on the All Stars Camp, visit http://saratogapartnership.org/programs/AllStarsCamp.

Anti-Bullying Book has Rachel Alexandra as Main Character

07.26.10

July 26, 2010
By Mark Mulholland
WNYT News Channel 13

SARATOGA SPRINGS – “I feel for the kids who don’t have someone to turn to,” said Dr. Bambii Rae. Rae has been the victim of bullies. She was teased so badly that she was forced to drop out of the Buffalo high school she attended.

Click here for link to video coverage.

She went on to get her Ph.D. in education and now she’s teaching the lesson of her life through the eyes of a champion race horse.

Rae fell in love with Rachel Alexandra, the thoroughbred filly who beat the boys on her way to becoming Horse of the Year. In Rachel she saw the perfect protagonist for her children’s book, “Girl Power: Running Against Bullying.”

“Rachel has a lot of people who believe in her. I don’t think the kids or anybody can do it without that,” Rae said.

The book tells how owners tried to keep Rachel out of the Preakness, but Saratoga socialite Marylou Whitney came to her aid and Rachel entered and won the second jewel of the Triple Crown.

The book’s paintings are the work of Saratoga Springs artist Frankie Flores, who — because it’s a children’s book — didn’t want the bullies to be too menacing.

“We tried to make it fun, a little light and airy in some aspects,” Flores explained.

Profit from the book will benefit anti-bullying groups like the Prevention Council of Saratoga.

There’s a big public unveiling of the book at a reception at the Flores Art Gallery, Friday night at 7. It will be available in local bookstores in August.

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